My brain says no but my pants say off.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
