Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize