OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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