so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I didn't notice because vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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