Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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