I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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