after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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