The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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