her vagine was all disorganized.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
