I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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