Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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