thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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