i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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