There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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