party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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