My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize