I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
