nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
