he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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