how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
