Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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