Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
