sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize