well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
