Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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