remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
