Heybabeimwearingurpanties
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
