Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize