Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
