I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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