things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Vodka?
Forever.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
