The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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