he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
