btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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