I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Swine flu is the new snow day.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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