remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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