I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
