i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
