Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
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We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
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The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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