Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
too bad you live with your parents still
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
