you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
