you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
