you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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