i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
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My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
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I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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