This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
