I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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