I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
