I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
