dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
