Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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