Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
