And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
