Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You should frame my arrest warrant.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
