Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
